Secrets & Regrets
by HanaYuuki Tensha
Summary: After Lee and Amanda come clean about their marriage to their family, someone close to them is caught in the line of fire. Now Lee must decide whether or not to man up, while the search for the attacker heats up.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: Scarecrow & Mrs. King and all characters associated are not mine. But hey, at least this story is, right? I had written one before, but it wasn't read-worthy, so I took it down. I'm giving another shot at SMK fanfic penmanship, and as always, constructive criticism is welcome—anything written with the sole intent of flattery can and will be considered suspicious (Oh, for crying out loud—what am I writing here, the Miranda rights?) . At any rate, let's do this! I'm going to try to go after it through Lee's perspective, though there may be a couple of points in the story that will be 3rd person.

+SMK+

We were through. No, we weren't splitting up. Neither of us wanted out of this marriage. In fact, we've been taking Billy up on his offer for weekends off more often lately. It's weird that not even five years ago, I'd have been kicking down the door of his office, demanding an assignment. In fact, I still deal with that temptation. But taking time off has had greater appeal to me lately, especially where my wife is concerned.

My wife. I still can't get over the fact that I'm married. That would have been off limits, too, five years ago. To think that I'd randomly pick out some woman I didn't know jack squat about to help me "Just this once", only to end up her husband less than four years later… If I were one of those spiritual types, I'd say it was guided. Maybe; maybe not. Whatever happened to ultimately throw us together, I wouldn't trade any of my days with Amanda for anything. No, our marriage wasn't ending.

The deception was. It had to. After the fiasco with my 16 page list of assumed complaints, Amanda and I had a heart-to-heart. We decided to come clean about everything—well, almost. The marriage would be easy, or so we thought. The job situation would be a bit more complicated. How exactly do you explain to your stepsons that you're secretly their mother's husband and a government agent?

Then there's the problem of Joe, Amanda's ex. How can you make it clear to your stepsons that you'll never try to replace their dad? I could see in their eyes that they hoped their parents would get back together. How do you tell them that it won't happen?

My mother-in-law was the easiest to talk to about this. Dotty found out about Amanda and I when she met up with us in California after Amanda was shot. She never said a word, never asked any questions, but it didn't take long for her to figure things out. When we asked her for input, she suggested that we take the boys on a family vacation. Then we could calmly, rationally discuss things with them. So we set things up at a campsite, took a few days off from work, and hoped things would work out.

Well, everything did go well during the trip…until we broke the news. Then things with the boys went into role reversal. Jamie suddenly understood why I'd been going to their house more often, and became surprisingly accepting. I don't doubt he was hurt, but he knew we'd had our reasons, whatever they were, for keeping him out of the loop. Phillip, though, did a 180 degree turn. We went from shooting hoops for hours past sunset to him shooting me a glare every few seconds. But I couldn't be angry with him…I had deceived everyone. Why should he listen to me now? And don't get me started with how he's been treating Amanda, now that he knows the truth. He pretty much ignores her, unless it's absolutely necessary. I hate what I've done, I hate what I convinced Amanda to do, and I hate what this has done to her—to our—family.

But do you know what I hate the most?

Waiting to find out if Phillip will be okay or not.

+SMK+

It all started on the way back from the campground. After endless arguments between Phillip and I, everyone piled into the Wagoneer for a tense ride home. Dotty was crammed between the guys so they wouldn't start fighting. Phillip, sitting behind Amanda, kept his eyes focused on the scenery. Jamie alternated his watch between me and the landscape, as if he was still processing what he knew now.

"Hey, Lee?" he inquired.

I looked back. "Yeah?"

"I forgot to bring my camera with me. Do you think we could go back sometime so I can snap a few pictures?"

Phillip interjected. "You should have just stayed there, Worm-brain."

"Phillip…" Amanda's tone held a strong warning. Phillip glared at me one more time before returning his attention to the background.

I sighed in frustration. I knew I'd caused damage, but this much? I took a look at my other stepson. One look at Jamie told me that he thought I was turning his request down. I smiled to reassure him. "Sure, Champ—why not? Though, we may need to wait until the fall. We were lucky to snag the campgrounds for the weekend first, and the heat there can be torture in the summer. Sound good?"

Jamie gave me a smile and a nod, before returning to his own watch.

_Well,_ I thought, _at least Jamie is willing to try again. I hope Phillip comes around soon, though._

None of us, except Jamie, noticed a black car driving next to us.

"Hey, Mom, the guy in the car beside us looks like he needs to talk with you."

With Amanda focused on the road, Dotty and I followed Jamie's line of sight. The other car's rear window went down, and an arm reached out—holding a 9 millimeter!

"EVERYONE! GET DOWN NOW!" I yelled, just before our assailant squeezed the trigger. I felt Amanda hit the brakes as I ducked, and I saw her follow suit just seconds before—

**POP! POP! POP!**

I heard the others shout in fear, while my wife gripped my hand. The sound of the car speeding away signaled the all-clear, and we all slowly sat up.

"Dotty, are you okay?"

"What?! Am I okay?! My family has just had bullets flying over our heads, and you're asking me if I'm okay?!" Well, at least, she was still herself. "And how many times since this trip started have I told you to call me 'Mother'?" Yeah, she'd be alright.

"Jamie?"

"I'm alright, Lee—I got the license plate num—"

"PHILLIP!"


	2. Chapter Two

"PHILLIP!"

Dotty's cry of alarm had me and Amanda automatically turn our attention towards my older stepson. He was bent over, his left arm covering his bleeding right side, while his right was limp from another bullet wound. The third bullet was imbedded in the door, for which I was grateful. But he was losing blood rapidly.

"Oh my gosh—Phillip!" Amanda gasped in fear.

I grabbed the recently installed phone from the dashboard, as I spoke to my wife. "Amanda, get Phillip to the hospital STAT. I'll phone ahead so they'll be ready for him."

A whimper came from the boy as we sped along. "Mom, they're burning! Help!" My heart clenched in fear and anger as I watched him.

"_Parker General Hospital; what's your emergency?"_ The voice on the phone got my attention.

"My stepson has just been involved in a drive-by shooting incident, and he needs to be admitted right away. We aren't too far away from you."

"_I'm sorry, sir, but we only take special cases."_ I knew the operator was trying to come across as objective, but right then, my objective was to save Phillip's life, and the attitude I was hearing in her voice was getting on what remained of my last nerve.

"Ma'am, my name is Lee Stetson, and I work with the Agency. My stepson has just been shot twice, and he's losing a lot of blood right now. I really need to get him some help."

Apparently, my job was enough to catch her attention, because after a moment or two of silence, I heard her reply. _"I'm really sorry, Mr. Stetson—we'll have paramedics waiting for his arrival. What is the victim's name?"_

"Phillip King. His mom, brother, and grandmother will be with us."

"_Thank you, sir, we'll have everything ready when you get here. If the victim is still conscious, keep talking to him to keep him awake."_

I gritted my teeth to keep from smarting off to her. I'd been to that hospital before, thanks to a concussion or two during the Barnstorm case, and I was little impressed. "Yeah, I got it. Phillip, we're almost to the hospital—stay with us, okay?"

He looked at me with fear that I hadn't ever seen in his eyes. "I can't—it hurts too bad!" I could see him struggling to stay awake, and losing the battle.

"I know, but you need to keep from nodding off—we're almost there. We're getting you some help, just don't pass out, Sport."

His eyes held mine, and all of a sudden, I was having a flashback. I was back in California, making my way back to the rental car after the gunfight, finding Amanda with a bullet hole in her chest. Only this time, I was seeing Phillip there—dead. "Lee, don't let me die! I promise I won't hate you for marrying Mom anymore—just don't let me die!" His plea snapped me back to the present.

I shook my head to clear it. "Phillip, look at me," I commanded him, using my best authoritative voice. With circumstances the way they were, though, it was a huge challenge. He gasped from the pain, but did as he was told. "I will _never_ let you die, do you understand? You can hate me all you want, but you will _not_ die on my watch. Got it, Sport?"

"Yes, sir," he managed to vocalize.

"Okay, then. I'm going to ask you a few questions. I have some friends at my job who can help us find the guy who did this, so I'll need you to answer them as honestly as you can. Can you do that for me?"

"I think so."

"Alright." I nodded, trying to maintain control of my voice when I spoke. "Did you get a good look at anyone in the car when it pulled up beside us?"

He gulped from the pain. "Yeah. The guy in the backseat. He had graying blond hair and I think his eyes were kind of a mix of blue and brown—they were kind of scary-looking." He was visibly shivering from the memory. "And he wore a real expensive suit, like he worked for a big company or government or something."

"We're here," Amanda announced, pulling into the lot with a screech. I could see a few paramedics making their way out the door with a gurney as she parked.

I jumped out and ran around to Phillip's door, almost yanking it off. Dotty had already unfastened him, so I carefully picked him up and pulled him out. As gently as I had done that, though, he still cried with the pain. "I've got you, Phillip; just hold tight a little longer, okay? I'm setting you down now." I maneuvered him so that he wouldn't be lying on his injured arm, as I lowered him onto the gurney. In the process, I looked into his face and saw tears running down his cheeks. Something weird happened, then. I hadn't really felt that whole fatherly feeling before, but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't _want_ to stop myself.

I just brushed his sweat-soaked bangs from his face. I wanted to do whatever it took to stop the pain, to bear the pain. But all I could do was move those bangs from his forehead in an attempt to try and comfort him.

"You _will_ make it through this, Phillip," I whispered determinedly. "We're all here for you, you'll be okay." I grasped his hand briefly, before watching the medics wheel him into the building. And then…

I just stood there.

Amanda, Jamie, and Dotty had gotten out of the car and were heading inside, but I was frozen. To me, it was another nightmare. I knew that being an agent with a family was risky. But the_ knowledge_ of that risk and _experiencing_ the risk are two separate things. To say that I was scared would be beyond an understatement. In fact, the word "petrified" wouldn't begin to cover it either. The flashback came again, and I cursed myself. I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to anyone in my family, whether it is Amanda's or any other. A few seconds later, almost like a robot, I made my way into the hospital.


End file.
